Wanting on purpose: a desire mapping starter kit

What do you actually want beyond what you were taught to want?

Download Wanting On Purpose, a free journal created for queer folks and sensitive souls reclaiming their right to want.

You’ll get:

✧ 10 un-shaming prompts
✧ A mini roadmap for exploring touch, connection, and erotic imagination
✧ A short guided meditation

This is your first step in Desire Mapping. Ready?

Meet your instructor

✳

Meet your instructor ✳

Madeline

I was inspired to create this free resource from the countless of clients I have helped. A reoccurring pattern I found with a lot of my trans and sapphic clients was the inability to voice what they enjoy during intimacy that had a focus on them. Over and over, I’d hear some version of:

“I don’t even know what I want.”
“I can’t tell if I like this, or if I’m just performing it.”
“It’s so hard to ask for something without feeling guilty or too much.”

“I hate the focus on me because I don’t know what I enjoy.”

“I’ve always been a giver because I get in my head when someone asks what I want.”

These weren’t people who were broken. These were people who had been conditioned by gender norms, trauma, invisibility, and survival to disconnect from their own wants.

So many of us were taught to perform intimacy, not experience pleasure.
To prioritize our partner’s pleasure, not our own.
To stay silent about what doesn’t feel good, because it feels safer to tolerate than to speak up.

Wanting On Purpose was born from a deep longing to change that.

Desire isn’t selfish.
It’s information.
It’s sacred.
And for too long, it’s been shut down in the people who most deserve to feel it.

Do you ask yourself…

  • Because most of us were never taught how to want, especially if you’re queer, neurodivergent, or were raised to prioritize others' comfort over your own clarity.

    We were taught to be desirable, not to feel desire.
    We learned to stay safe by staying small.
    We learned to want less so we wouldn't be too much.

    And when you spend years (or decades) performing what you “should” want, your real desires get quiet. Buried. Numbed out. Of course you can’t access them easily now.

    But that doesn’t mean they’re gone.

    This freebie is a digital journal to help you begin mapping what’s underneath all that noise. Not to perform your desires but to reclaim them.

  • Because “want” has always been dangerous.

    Wanting made you selfish.
    Wanting made you too much.
    Wanting made you different.

    So you learned to mute it.
    You got good at picking up on what others wanted. You learned how to read the room, keep the peace, and stay lovable even if it meant abandoning your own needs in the process.

    That strategy kept you safe.
    But it also kept you disconnected from your body and your desires.

    This freebie helps you start hearing yourself again.

    It doesn’t ask you to be sure. Or brave. Or ready.
    It just offers a soft, shame-free place to begin.

    Wanting isn’t the problem.
    Forgetting how to want? That’s what we’re unlearning here.

  • Yes.
    But not by forcing yourself into confidence, or pushing past discomfort like it doesn’t exist.

    You can’t rush your way into embodiment especially if your body hasn’t always felt like a safe place to live.

    If you’ve learned to disconnect, numb out, freeze, or overperform just to get through the day… you’re not broken. You’re brilliant. Your body protected you exactly the way it needed to.

    And now?
    You get to build a relationship with that body on your terms.

    This freebie isn’t about fixing you.
    Being in your body without shame isn’t a destination.
    It’s a practice of coming back, again and again, with care.

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