The lube commandments (Copy)
People buy lube like they buy hand soap. They go to the store, pick one that looks nice or is the right price and then check out. All without looking at the ingredients, company, or use. Now I’m not a hand soap expert, but I am a lube expert. I started my career with a special fascination of sexual wellness products.
Everything from vibrators to straps to yes, even lube.
There are 5 commandments of lube
Thou shall not use silicone lube with silicone toys
Thou shall not use oil based lube with condoms
Thou shall not use coconut oil or olive oil as an oil based lube
Thou shall not blindly buy without looking at ingredients
Thou shall use lube, fully and often
Let’s break it down:
Thou shall not use silicone lube with silicone toys.
This is an overall rule, but does not always apply. But I want to stress- this is the safe standard. Using silicone lube with silicone toys has the possibility of breaking down the toy. This is the same reason you don’t want to store your silicone toys right next to each other. They might melt. Long story short; a chemical reaction can happen. Silicone solids (aka the toy) are soluble in silicone liquids (aka the lube). It risks the toy either absorbing the lube, causing it to expand or melt. What does this mean for your beloved $75 dildo? Well it depends, it can get sticky or tacky, it could seem matte, change shape, or quite literally have some spots where it looks melted. The severity of this depends on the chemical makeup of both the lube and toy. Unfortunately sex toys are not FDA cleared or regulated in the US, they are all technically novelty items so there is always a possibility of buying a silicone product that is not body safe, food safe, or medical grade (this is always why it is important to only buy from companies that have integrity and transparency about their products). This is why you can store your silicone kitchen utensils all together- they’re all food safe. All in all- the rule of thumb, when using a silicone toy- use water based lube or oil based lube.
Thou shall not use oil based lube with condoms.
This one is an easy one- Oil-based lubricants can't be used with latex or polyisoprene condoms because they dissolve the latex or polyisoprene, weakening it and causing it to break. This means the condom's ability to prevent pregnancy or STIs is compromised. Oil, including baby oil, petroleum jelly, and even vegetable or mineral oils, can weaken the material of latex condoms. Personally I suggest using silicone with condoms. Condoms have a habit or wicking away lubrication (even natural lubrication). Silicone lubricant is known for being long lasting and slippery as fuck. Pjur has a great silicone lubricant. Simple ingredients and long-lasting.
Thou shall not use coconut oil or olive oil as lubricant.
I think this one is the one that is the most debated. There are a lot of people who swear by coconut oil as lube, I’ve even heard some OBGYNs recommend using coconut oil. I, however, do not recommend this for a couple of reasons. Coconut oil will soak into your skin quickly. You might not notice but this could cause your skin to tug or stretch leaving micro tears leading to an infection. Speaking of infections- you’re usually dipping your hand into a jar to get it out. There is a risk of contamination. Also when people get the green light to use coconut oil they might not be mindful about what type of coconut oil they are using. It might be hard for some people to find unrefined, natural, preservative-free, and fragrance-free coconut oil if they do not have a natural food store in their area. Coconut oil and olive oil are great for external play. If you love using coconut oil and it works for you- great! I’m glad you found something that works for you. But overall I do not suggest people starting with it. If you would like an oil based lubricant I suggest this one. Dame’s Play Balm is body safe, melts into your body, and overall just has a pleasant smell (it’s not scented though, it’s just from the ingredients).
Thou shall not blindly buy without looking at ingredients
Unlike sex toys personal lubricants, or lube, are considered medical devices by the FDA and require approval before being sold in the United States. This approval process involves a Class II Medical Device 510(k) clearance, meaning companies must demonstrate their products meet safety and effectiveness standards. This ensures the ingredients and formula don't have adverse effects on humans. So in theory could you pick any lube up at the store and it be body safe? Yep! You absolutely can, and if you need a lubricant and can only afford the cheaper one buy it and use it unapologetically. There is not shame in that. But it’s good to take a little at the ingredients to be aware of what your body might react to. For example when people hear that a lube has glycerin or glycerol it gives people pause. Glycerin is a common ingredient in lubricants (specifically water based ones). Glycerin basically helps keep lubricants slippery. And while it can be beneficial for some, it may also contribute to yeast infections or other irritations for others. That’s why it’s just important to be mindful about what you are putting in your body and why it is there.
I’m going to break down an ingredients list. This one is Pjur’s Infinity Water-Based Lubricant:
Water- self explanatory
Propylene Glycol- prevents the lube from drying out so it has a longer shelf life and you don’t have to worry about buying new lube before using it all.
Ethoxydiglycol- helps disperse the ingredients and helps dissolve into your skin so it won't just sit on your skin until you wash it off.
Hydroxypropyl Guar Hydroxypropyltrimonium Chloride- this is a natural plant based conditioning agent so it’s hydrating to your skin
Sodium Saccharin- this is a sweetener so you don’t gag on the taste.
Citric Acid- this is an organic compound that prevents the growth of bacteria and mold and helps adjust the pH balance of the lubricant, making it more acidic.
Thou shall use lube, fully and often
Lube is for everyone. It’s not just for anal, it’s not just for people who are going through menopause, it’s not for marathon sex, and it’s not just for people who suffer from vaginal dryness. While lube is essential for all of those things and situations lube is great in almost every scenario! “Studies consistently show a strong link between vaginal lubrication and sexual pleasure and satisfaction, including orgasm, for women. Many women report feeling more easily able to orgasm when vaginal wetness is increased, and perceive that their partners also prefer it. Lubricants are often viewed as a positive tool that can enhance sexual pleasure for all women, regardless of age or physiological conditions. “ This comes from a study published in the National Library of Medicine . This also includes external play! Using lubricant with vibrators or while masterbating can be more enjoyable, you could increase your clitoral erection, and decrease the likelihood of micro tearing. Using lube should be a shame free, euphoric, and slippery experience.
If you are in the market for a good lubricant Pjur is one of the best out there. Pjur is made in Germany (honestly Germany has higher standards when it comes to sexual wellness products) and I stand by the ingredients.
